


On the Surface

by aphamericanhero



Series: For hariible [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, M/M, Poor Alfie baby, Tumblr Prompts, for my dear friend hariible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-17 01:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13648113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphamericanhero/pseuds/aphamericanhero
Summary: From the prompts"You can't understand how it is to feel this worthless. I just want it all to go away! I just want it all to STOP!"And "you never really loved me did you?" And the silence said it all"





	On the Surface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miss_needlephobia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_needlephobia/gifts).



 

Alfred slugged into his house. It had been another long and tiring day. He kicked off his shoes and and threw his shirt unto the couch, opening the door to the bedroom.

Arthur was there, sleeping soundly, and Alfred should've felt relieved at the fact, but.... He checked his phone again. Nothing. No messages that he might've missed. It was _extremely_  late and his boyfriend couldn't even be bothered about his safety. It hurt. Taking off the rest of his clothes, he slipped into bed, but it was a long time until restless sleep came.

Exhausted as always, Alfred left home before the sun rose. He didn't even bother to leave a note for the Brit. He knew his schedule by now, _and it's not like he cared anyway._

He went up to his office and where he met his boss, obviously disappointed.

"Jones! Those reports! I thought I told you to have them on my desk before I arrived this morning!"

"I'm sorry sir-"

"Don't 'sorry' me Jones! Get them done immediately or else!" He stormed away, and Alfred heard him mumble about "useless workers" and not being able to find decent help these days. The comments stung, even if in the back if his mind he knew it wasn't his fault.

Alfred entered his personal work space, where papers piled on his desk. He's had to pick up more and more work, despite it being obvious that other people were slacking on purpose. Alfred, being the only one actually _doing_  his job, was tasked with making up for all the assignments that his Co-workers we're supposed to be doing. It didn't help that his boss was making him work under impossible deadlines either.

Not only that, but all his friends have seemingly abandoned him, his mother was being demanding, and his brother hasn't contacted him in months.

Alfred was _tired._

It was once again another night without anything from Arthur. It was like dating a rock. Actually, a rock would be more responsive than the Brit. _Why can't I make you care?_

Saturday morning Alfred woke up to his boyfriend smiling over him.

"Wake up love, I bought you muffins from your favorite shop." Alfred groaned but pealed himself away from the sheets, trying to rub away the ever-present bags from under his eyes.

Alfred looked at the breakfast, and back at Arthur, and he broke. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you pretending like you care?"

Arthur blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"

_He didn't even realize he was doing it._

Alfred's patience snapped. "I can't believe this!" He started to tear up. "You can't even understand how it is to feel this worthless, I just want it all to go away. I just want it all to _stop!_ "

"Alfred, I don't understand... You're worth so much to me, to everyone! Whatever it is I'll try my best to help." He put a hand on his cheek. "I'm here for you, I care about-"

"No you don't!" He roared. "You so clearly don't give a _fuck_ about what I do or how I feel! I leave before you wake up everyday. I come home after you've gone to bed. You never see me, and never did you _once_ ask about where I was! Never did you once ask if I was ok! I have bags under my eyes Arthur, _bags_! Did you even notice?!? My friends and family have all but abandoned me, my job is a living hell, and my home life isn't much better. Arthur... You never really loved me did you? You only used me to stop being so lonely...." With that realization Alfred packed his belongings and left without a word.

After that Alfred became disconnected from the world. He tore off the "for sale" sign on his old house and moved back in. He barely ate, or slept, focusing more on work. His hair was constantly disheveled, and he didn't even respond when his boss yelled at him. He didn't even bother to lock his doors. Nothing was worth anything to him anymore, so why should he even care?

Meanwhile Arthur was feeling shocked by Alfred's statements, but he really couldn't blame him. Alfred was right. Arthur had been a terrible boyfriend. Arthur was alone, and Alfred was so nice, that even if he didn't like him the way Alfred did, he still went along with it. It was unfair to the him. He should've said something over the weeks he watched the blond deflate. Why didn't he? He was an awful person. Alfred was sweet and caring and funny, and he deserved better than him. Still, Arthur couldn't let the American go, he had truly enjoyed their time together... Maybe they should start over, "re-date." At the very least, Arthur should apologize to him.

Arthur mustered himself up and called Alfred. He didn't pick up, but what was Arthur expecting? He didn't reply to his texts either. The only thing left to do was to find him and talk to him in person.

The Brit talked to Alfred's mother, but she said that he hadn't been around in a while. He got a similar answer when he talked to Alfred's brother, Matthew. The only thing left to do was to go to the blond's old house. Arthur knew he was trying to sell it, and he prayed that no one had bought it yet.

As he approached the house, Arthur took some deep breaths, and readied himself for whatever was going to happen. He knocked, then tried the door, being surprised that it was open. Whoever lived here couldn't be that careless, could they? Arthur looked around, noticing Alfred's signature jacket. It was warming up so he wouldn't need it anymore, but thank God that Alfred was still here! He made himself comfortable and waited for Alfred to return from work.

The hours ticked by, and Arthur glanced at the clock. _Jesus, he really did come home late, and he never ever asked about it? How could he do something so cold?_ He sank into the chair. Feeling even worse about the situation.

Eventually, Alfred came back, and Arthur sat back up. The surprise on his face was evident. Arthur wanted to hug him, but he refrained.

"Arthur? What are you doing here?"

"Alfred, please hear me out. I really and truly apologize, okay? I shouldn't have used you like that and treated you so poorly. I hope you can forgive me, but I understand if you never will. But, I won't lie, I really enjoyed our time together. Even if I didn't love you, I really do _like you_ Alfred F. Jones, and I would like to give this another try. So what do you say?" Arthur held his breath, waiting for a response.

Alfred pondered it for a moment, but nodded. "Okay."

Arthur hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

Alfred paused a moment before hugging him back. "Arthur, if we do this, you gotta promise me you'll be honest with your feelings, with me."

He nodded. "I promise."

Arthur was the one who initiated the first date, saying that they could go anywhere Alfred wanted to. Alfred picked him up, and they had a very wonderful date. It was nice to see Alfred smile again too.

They quickly went out on another outing, and then another, which turned into many dates over many days.

Soon after, Alfred moved back in with Arthur, and at his insistence, quiz the job that had caused him so much grief. It didn't take him long to find a new job. Everything was well.

It was a normal day when Arthur had said it. They were sitting around, enjoying the other's silence, when Arthur spoke up.

"Hey love?"

"Yes Artie?"

"I really do love you, you know that right?"

He leaned over and kissed him. "I know. I love you too."

It was the first of many I love you's, and each time Arthur said it, he meant it from the bottom of his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hariible drew stuff for this! (I'm eternally grateful she's such a great friend)  
> Find the drawings at  
> http://hariible.tumblr.com/post/170687783617/illustrations-for-aphamericanheros-fanfiction-i


End file.
